Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here.
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Dear Bev,
Two of our advisors openly dislike each other. One of them keeps to himself and doesn’t involve us, but the other is always trying to get us to say something bad or agree with her perspective on our mutual colleague. At this point, we avoid drinking our coffee in the break room for fear of running into her. I know you will probably say that we should stand up to her but she is very aggressive. We are afraid if we ignore her completely, we may be the next ones on her “bad list.” Is there a graceful way to steer clear of this whole situation? I have teenagers and there is enough angst at home already. I really don’t want to deal with it in my office, too. Please use only my initials.
S. R.
Dear Advisor:
It is amazing how other people’s bad behavior can have such a negative impact on us! That said, we can control how we react and respond. While it can be difficult to survive and thrive in the atmosphere you describe, it’s not impossible. You don’t need to diagnose the source of their dislike or take sides in order to work effectively. It sounds like avoiding them isn’t a good solution either, so I would opt for ignoring.
What would happen if the rest of you agreed to pretend that everything is fine? For example, you walk into the break room and your colleague starts to disparage the other colleague. You might say something like, “Oh you two crack me up. I know you really like each other” and then walk out. Or you might say, “Are you sure deep down you don’t really admire (name)? You spend so much time talking about his/her weaknesses, we’re beginning to think you really want to be like him/her!” Say these things with a smile and then leave. If all of your colleagues do this, I believe the statements would stop.
As far as avoiding the “bad list,” I’m afraid there is no guarantee you can do this. People who engage in this type of behavior usually do it out of insecurity or a need for attention. Unless they become very self-reflective and see how their behavior is impacting the rest of the advisory firm, they will likely pick another target. If you can all band together, hopefully you can at least minimize the impact.
Dear Bev,
I hate sales. I think people go into sales because they cannot do anything else. I don’t want to learn how to sell and am perturbed that my employer thinks I should be a good salesperson more than a strong investment manager. Why is this the trend and where can I work where I will not be forced to sell?
Jon R.
Dear Jon,
First I will try not to take offense since I have spent most of my career in sales! On a serious note, there is no more important skill to learn. You are always “selling.” Whether you are trying to get your child to behave, your boss to recognize your contributions or your neighbor to stop throwing snow into your driveway, the conversations always take some sort of sales finesse. I think advisors dislike selling because they perceive it as pushing a product on someone who doesn’t want it or need it. They think it means talking someone into something instead of working with them collaboratively.
Most companies are focusing on sales because the market is only getting more competitive every day. Firms know they are probably leaving money on the table if they aren’t asking for it. Even our clients who are small independent RIA’s turn to us to learn to sell more effectively, so I can’t give you direction on a safe haven to get away from selling altogether. Instead, I encourage you to reframe your viewpoint on it. Instead of selling, think of it as problem-solving, helping someone make a good decision or sharing information about what you do well.
I’ve coached many advisors who were resistant to the idea of selling, but once they learned to look at it differently or added their natural style to a sales mindset, they found they not only could do it, but they actually liked it.
Beverly Flaxington co-founded The Collaborative, a consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry in 1995. In 2008, she co-founded Advisors Trusted Advisor to offer dedicated practice management resources to advisors, planners and wealth managers. She is currently an adjunct professor at Suffolk University teaching undergraduate students Leadership & Social Responsibility. Beverly is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).
She has spent over 25 years in the investment industry and has been featured in Selling Power Magazine and quoted in hundreds of media outlets, including the Wall Street Journal, MSNBC.com, Investment News and Solutions Magazine for the FPA. She speaks frequently at investment industry conferences and is a speaker for the CFA Institute.
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