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Anytime you are in a meeting, recording a YouTube video or speaking on stage, the position of your hands matters.
Don’t knock the mind-body thing
I recently gave birth to my fourth child with no epidural. It was a powerful experience. There was no greater moment in my life where I understood the connection between my mind and my body. As I discuss in this podcast here, I was so mentally ready for this labor that it was my least painful birth experience.
Look, I’m not one of those spa goers trying to sell you magic crystal treatments, saying that the energy of touching a rock can heal your back pain. But even a skeptic should admit there is a real connection between your mind and your body when it comes to public speaking.
- If you’re not prepared for your talk, your mind is going to tell that to your body. You’ll look nervous and your movements will appear stilted.
- If your body doesn’t feel comfortable, you’ll be distracted, come across as awkward and lose confidence.
You say, “Well Grillo, I only talk to people over the phone or have one on one meetings, I’m no public speaker!”
I get that. But anytime you are speaking, your voice is impacted by how relaxed you are. You can having a phone call in utter solitude and once you get bad news, have you noticed your chest tenses up? And then it shows right away in your voice.
Why I’m against the “diamond position”
If you follow me you know that I’m a big proponent of advisors using YouTube to market themselves. Most of my clients are making YouTube videos. One of the poses I see people making over and over again is what I call “diamond position.”
No offense to any of you using “diamond position.”
In this pose, you touch your fingertips to each other, which creates a triangle space between your thumbs and forefingers. You know, Kevin O’Leary (of Shark Tank) always makes this pose.
When do you ever do this in real life? It just screams, “Hi! I’m doing a presentation now!”
The other drawback to diamond pose is that with your hands held this way, it makes your body feel stiff. Do you know that women in labor are told to wiggle their fingers? It makes us more relaxed.
Keep your fingers loose.
The diamond position is also closed, as if you need to hold your hands up in front of you to buffer yourself or hide from something. Kevin O’Leary can use this pose because he’s a judge. He’s not the presenter. It makes sense for his body language to be closed.
Suggestions for hand gestures
Everyone’s body is different. I don’t like it when people try to tell me how to stand or what positions are best for this or that. Only you know best what works.
Find the pose where you feel most comfortable. And whatever that position is, use it as your home base position. You make gestures as you speak, but always come back to the base.
I’d rather have you leave your hands at your sides, or even clasp them behind your back. This is a more open stance and allows for more fluidity. Don’t cross your body with your arms, as this makes you look closed.
When speaking for an audience, you want to accomplish two goals:
- Look natural, like how real people talk.
- Get people’s attention to emphasize key points using gestures.
Now I’m not saying to move like Eminem during the rap competition in the movie Eight Mile. Don’t make the movements too dramatic, and also be careful not to repeat the same gesture over and over.
Like I said, do what works for you. But as a public speaker I find that I get the best results when I use the following gestures:
Palms open, hands outstretched in front or on either side of you
I prepared for hours and hours to be in labor with my fourth baby. I learned that opening your palms causes your whole body to relax. The labor was far less painful than my others.
Showing the audience your open palms engages them. When your body is open to them, they’re open to you. So when you want to emphasize a point, make an open gesture, almost as if you’re going to hug them. Never show the audience the back of your hands because any time you are doing that, you are initiating a closed position.
Reaching towards the audience
When you want to grab the audience’s attention, reach forward with one of your hands. Not out to the side, but directly in front of you. It’s a bold gesture.
Move your hands between waist and shoulder level. Don’t get too dramatic with it. You don’t want to seem like you’re teaching an aerobics class.
Counting on your fingers
In today’s hyper time sensitive world, we all love lists. Count things out using your fingers.
Metza metz
One arm up, the other one down, almost like you are making a scale. Use this when you want to show the pros and cons of something.
Use your phone
People are always shocked when they record a video using the script I wrote for them, and I ask them to do it all over again. The content is only one part. You have to spend time making it all come together.
The best way to make these hand gestures work is to practice them and record it using your phone.
Sara’s upshot
Did I inspire you to get on stage? If so, let me teach you how to be a rock star on YouTube by joining my membership here.
Sara Grillo, CFA, is a marketing consultant who helps investment management, financial planning, and RIA firms fight the tendency to barf meaningless cliche on their prospects and bore them as a result. Prior to launching her own firm, she was a financial advisor and worked at Lehman Brothers.
Read more articles by Sara Grillo
Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
