Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here.
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Dear Bev,
I founded my firm 23 years ago now. I didn’t want to run a large firm, but the clients kept coming, I kept doing good work and here I am with 19 people working for me. I’m not much of a conflict guy. To me life is mostly always good so I don’t see the benefit in getting stressed and upset about everything, and I don’t understand when other people do so.
My problem is two of my star team members. They both have senior roles. One is a negative person; she constantly complains about everything and if there isn’t anything to complain about, she will find it. I am not exaggerating when I say if it is raining she moans about the lack of sun, and if it is sunny we get lectured on the dangers of skin cancer. It is actually that ridiculous.
The other one is a head-down, get to work kind of person. He gets so irritated with her negativity that he has started to bad mouth her to others in the firm and make snarky, nasty comments at every turn. It’s turning him into a negative person too.
Other people have come to ask me to intervene and mediate a discussion between the two to get them working together again. Both have been here upwards of seven years (they actually joined four months apart) and they always got along reasonably well. Miss Negativity has always been negative and for the most part we all ignore it. She is a strong contributor and the clients love her – she manages to make her observations of how awful everything is something endearing. The other person recently went through a very nasty divorce. He got soaked financially and his tolerance level has suffered as a result. He isn’t tough on everyone, but it is almost like he projects all of his frustration with his ex onto this colleague.
Is it my role to fix this? I have no counseling background at all. I believe if I were to wade in and get involved it could actually make the situation worse. My wife tells me that I am not very good mediating between our children. So why would I think I could do better in my own company?
I.B.
Dear I.B.,
It might be helpful in our industry if a psychology or counseling degree was required before one could obtain a finance degree or the CFP®. In my experience working with advisors every single day, a lot of their time is spent on interpersonal, counseling-related activities. Normally it would be with clients, but often times it is on behalf of their team members.
It is important to define the role of a “mediator” in this case. There are times you can bring two people into your office, have them hash it out and it could be beneficial. But what you are describing here leads me to believe you could do more damage than good by doing that.
They are not necessarily at odds with one another. You have a person who is generally just a negative person. She sees the world through glass half-empty lenses and she enjoys finding the downside of a situation. It is hard to believe someone would want to do this, especially if you are not wired this way, but it isn’t terribly uncommon. This approach often gives someone a sense of self, and they don’t know how they would be – or how the world would be – if they let down their guard to be happy. So this is a foundational wiring problem – not a situation where she isn’t doing something well in the job. The other person is going through something very emotional and with financial impact. He just isn’t in the mood to deal with anything that is disturbing and he probably just wants her to shut up and go away!
Bringing them in to your office to talk about this – well, it won’t work because the problems are too systemic and don’t actually have to do with one another.
The Negative Nellie is negative. Everyone knows it, and you’ve all learned to live with it and somewhat ignore it. You see the value she brings and this overrides the frustration with her style. I would focus more on the person who is upset right now because of his situation. Perhaps you should call him into your office and reflect that you know he is going through some hard times, but that it is impacting his behavior and how he is received at the firm. Remind him that while Negative Nellie is irritating, she has always been like this and no one at the firm is likely to change her.
Ask him to take a walk from time to time, do some deep breathing exercises in his office, or whistle a tune he likes every time she starts to grate on his nerves.
I don’t condone bad behavior but I will tell you with confidence – after decades of doing this work – there are times it simply is not worth trying to “change” someone because they aren’t invested in making the change. Focus on the person who was doing well for a long time, and now faces a difficult situation that he needs help managing.
Dear Bev,
How do you know when it is time for an advisory firm to hire a director of marketing?
G.M.
Dear G.M.,
It’s always these seemingly easy questions that generate the greatest number of questions for me:
- Why now? What is triggering your desire to create and fill this role?
- How clear are you about what this person will do and how they will contribute?
- What is your budget and expected ROI for this role?
- Do you already have a marketing plan or set of tactics, and how are you currently managing them?
- How big is your firm and where will this role “sit” on the org chart and how will it interact with other stakeholders?
- Is there someone who will be responsible for helping to guide and direct this person?
- Do you have a clear set of goals and objectives – short term, one, three and five years out to be clear where this role adds value?
These are just some of the questions I suggest you and your team address together. If you had answered all of them, you would not be asking me the timing question. Get clarity and you will likely answer the question on your own.
Beverly Flaxington co-founded The Collaborative, a consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry in 1995. The firm also founded and manages the Advisors Sales Academy. She is currently an adjunct professor at Suffolk University teaching undergraduate students Entrepreneurship. Beverly is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).
She has spent over 25 years in the investment industry and has been featured in Selling Power Magazine and quoted in hundreds of media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, MSNBC.com, Investment News and Solutions Magazine for the FPA. She speaks frequently at investment industry conferences and is a speaker for the CFA Institute.
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Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here. 
