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Ever wonder how stress is impacting you? With the uncertainty regarding COVID19, unemployment, stock market dives and the trials of working from home stress has magnified for a lot of people. It is everywhere and palpable. It can slow us down, speed us up, de-motivate us, or as in my case, raise our cholesterol. People manage stress in various ways.
It became painfully clear that I needed to learn to manage my stress more effectively.
I have begun doing so.
Stress is certainly a huge topic that we could splinter into many conversations. However, tapping into my expertise of coaching financial advisors to create organic referral processes, let’s talk about how you manage the stress associated with referrals. My clients are regularly stressed about not getting enough referrals, working with COIs who don’t refer back, when to ask for referrals, how to ask for referrals, damaging relationships, handling a bad referral, giving referrals and hoping it works out, etc.
Financial advisors are stressed about referrals. Here’s how you manage that stress.
Many years ago, I was introduced to the concept of the “three buckets” from my friend, Becky, who used the bucket system to help her manage stress in general. This concept works not only for referrals but for any area of your life. As we proceed, think of how this can apply to the current situation we all are facing. The simplest way to look at situations in your life is to consider which bucket they fall into and then act accordingly.
The three buckets are 1) things you can control; 2) things you can’t control but can influence; and 3) things you can’t control or influence. Every encounter along your referral process will fall into one of these three buckets. If you determine you can control it, then lead that activity and do what needs to be done. If you decide you can’t control it, but you can influence it … then influence away. And if you determine that you cannot control it or influence it, then let it go. I’ve had many clients come to realize that what they were stressed about was out of their control or influence. Imagine the feeling of freedom they felt when they could finally let it go.
Knowing that sometimes it’s a struggle to identify which bucket things fall into, let me share a few examples with respect to your referral process.
Bucket #1 – Things you can control
Typically, these things relate specifically to you, such as:
- How much time you’re willing to dedicate to your COIs
- The word of mouth message that comes from you
- Who you choose as your COIs
- Your level of commitment to your referral process
- The quality of the referrals you give to others
- How you ask for referrals
- When you ask for referrals
- How you handle a bad referral
- Your referability
- Your likeability
Bucket #2 – Things you can’t control but can influence
Typically, you can influence more than you realize. In the referral process, they tend to be things like these:
- What people say about you as they are referring you
- If someone can recognize a referral for you
- Getting friends and family to refer you
- Engaging clients to refer you
- The quality of the referrals you receive from others
- Whether the prospect will say “yes” to working with you
Bucket #3 – Things you can’t control or influence
Typically, the things you cannot control or influence tend to fall into categories of natural disasters or life changes/situations that you can't do anything about. In the referral process, it could be something like this:
- If someone’s budget truly does not allow them to afford you
- A family situation that alters the level of commitment a COI can give to you
- A COI relocates her family and business to another state
- Your computer crashes causing you to miss an important email from your COI
Start practicing this today. Make your referral bucket list and while you’re at it, help your family create a bucket list to manage their stress in our disjointed times. Learning to use these three buckets regularly will avoid unnecessary stress and keep you focused on what you truly can control and influence.
Michelle R. Donovan is a speaker and co-owner of Productivity Uncorked LLC, a coaching firm that helps financial advisors enhance their productivity and create organic referral processes. She has written a Wall Street Journal Best Selling book, The 29% Solution (published in seven languages) and an Amazon Best Selling book, A Woman’s Way: Empowering Female Financial Advisors to Authentically Lead and Flourish in a Man’s World. To schedule a free 30-minute call with Michelle, reach out to her at [email protected].
Read more articles by Michelle R. Donovan