Choices You Didn’t Know You Had

Photo by Cory Woodward on Unsplash

Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.

Planning for life is not much different than the financial planning you engage in for your clients. Both involve establishing goals, creating steps to achieve those goals and then implementing and tracking a plan.

I’ve spent decades extolling the benefits of financial planning. Yet, in my own life, I was spontaneous and reactive. When I interacted with others, I didn’t have a “plan.” I didn’t think about how my behavior could impact the outcome.

The research underlying The Solin Process changed my approach to how I live my life. I also benefitted from the experiences of the advisors who provided feedback after hearing me speak about this research.


We have choices when we meet others, but most people aren’t aware of them. Here are some options:

  1. We can create stress by trying to persuade someone of something.
  1. We can antagonize and polarize others by using data to support a position or view contrary to theirs.
  1. We can cause them to feel diminished and trivialized by dominating the conversation and interrupting them.
  1. We can induce boredom and distraction the longer we speak.
  1. We can cause them to feel great (about themselves and us) by empowering them to talk, asking appropriate follow-up questions, and demonstrating a sincere interest in what they’re saying.

When presented with these options, few would choose 1-4, but that’s precisely what happens when you impose your process on prospects, implement your agenda, seek to “educate” them, use text-dense PowerPoint slides or other presentation aids or assume you’re the “expert” and the person in front of you is keen to have you demonstrate your expertise.