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There’s a group of hormones that, when triggered, make us happy. Those chemical reactions make us feel really good.
What’s the downside?
A primer on happiness hormones
These hormones are generally considered to have a positive impact on our happiness:
Dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, phenylethylamine, oxytocin and ghrelin.
In brief:
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter which is responsible for a feeling of happiness. It’s spread along pathways in our brain.
You can trigger the release of dopamine by eating the right diet (rich almonds, bananas, avocados, eggs, beans, fish and chicken), exercising, meditating, getting adequate sleep and even listening to music.
Serotonin: Serotonin is found in the brain, bowels and blood platelets. There’s evidence having adequate serotonin levels is critical to maintaining mood balance.
You can boost your levels of serotonin by exercising daily, maintaining “gut health,” eating foods high in complex carbohydrates and, if needed, taking supplements.
Endorphins: Endorphins are chemicals our body produces to relieve stress and pain. They are triggered by regular exercise, helping others, yoga and meditation.
Phenylethylamine: Phenylethylamine is a chemical found in our bodies. It stimulates our bodies to produce chemicals thought to have a role in mood and attention, among other things. In clinical trials, supplementing phenylethylamine “induced rapid and sustained relief of depression.”
High-intensity aerobic exercise increases the release of phenylethylamine.
It’s also available as a supplement.
Oxytocin: Oxytocin is a hormone that plays a critical role in the childbirth process and in promoting lactation after birth. While the studies are conflicting, there’s some evidence it’s involved in social interactions and the creation of trust.
Being in the company of someone you are attracted to and physical affection boost oxytocin levels. So does petting your dog.
Oxytocin (along with dopamine, endorphins and other biochemicals) is triggered when we are talking about something we want to share.
Ghrelin: Ghrelin is a peptide hormone produced and secreted in the stomach. Its primary function is to increase appetite.
The role of ghrelin on mood disorders hasn’t been clearly established, but there’s some evidence abnormal levels of ghrelin are “linked with stress, anxiety disorders and depression.”
You reduce hunger and cravings by lowering your ghrelin levels. You can do this by prioritizing sleep, increasing muscle mass, eating more protein and maintaining a stable weight.
There’s nothing wrong with following sound guidelines to increase your level of happiness hormones. Doing so may provide temporary relief, but won’t resolve underlying problems.
There’s one exception to this otherwise worthy goal, which brings us to the dark side of happiness hormones.
The dark side
There are hundreds of articles telling you how to boost your happiness hormones. There are relatively few that explain how to do so in others.
That’s the problem.
We all love to talk. We are especially keen to demonstrate our expertise by “educating” others, including clients and prospects.
It feels great.
What about the listener? How do they feel?
Not so good.
According to author Judith E. Glaser, “While we're being rewarded, the people we're talking to might consciously or subconsciously feel cut off, invisible, unimportant, minimized and rejected, which releases the same neurochemicals as physical pain.”
Physical pain? I doubt that’s your intention.
You can reverse this process by focusing on getting happiness hormones released in your prospect or client. This requires you to stop talking; stop conveying information; stop the “education lecture.”
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Instead, empower the other person to speak.
You will stop the flow of happiness hormones into your brain, but they will be released in the brain of the other person.
While being silent might cause a temporary lack of pleasure for you, the long-term benefits are well worth this minor sacrifice. When you empower others to talk, you’ll be (correctly) perceived as an empathetic, trustworthy and insightful. You also learn exactly what’s on the person’s mind.
And you’ll convert the prospect or deepen your relationship with your client.
You will turn the “dark side” into the “bright side.”
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