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The premise of Thanksgiving is hopelessly flawed. It’s supposed to be a special day when we give thanks. The reality is different, but a daily, five-minute exercise can transform it into the experience we all want.
For many, the holiday season is a source of anxiety, stress and depression. One poll conducted by the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (discussed here) found 75% of participants felt more anxious and depressed during the holiday season.
The pernicious impact of negativity bias
I’ve written extensively on the harmful effects of negativity bias. It’s hardwired into our DNA. It has an evolutionary basis, originating when our primitive ancestors needed to be on high alert for predatory animals. The fear of being devoured by a lion makes you keenly aware of subtle sounds you need to evaluate in a nanosecond.
Overcoming negativity bias in our daily lives is challenging. You can find some helpful suggestions here.
We all know people whose negativity bias is out of control. They view the world as a dangerous place and themselves as victims of conspiracies and malicious conduct. When you combine those folks with diverse family dynamics, you will have a very unhappy day.
Thanksgiving – touted as a special day when we should be grateful – can contribute to negativity bias instead of alleviating it.
Gratitude should be a daily event
The antidote for negativity bias is the practice of gratitude, but it should be a daily event. There’s ample evidence (discussed here) that expressing gratitude lowers blood pressure, enhances your immune system and alleviates depression.
I’ve been researching the positive benefits of practicing gratitude for some time, but only recently started keeping a gratitude journal. The motivation for doing so came from a sponsor of a webinar who sent me a journal as a gift for participating.
Every day, I jot down two to four things for which I’m grateful. I’ve been surprised by the impact.
When I started, I wrote down the obvious things in my life, like appreciation for my loved ones and my good health. As the days went by, something surprising happened. Writing in my journal caused me to intensely focus (for about five minutes a day) on what makes me truly happy. I uncovered things that I previously took for granted.
Here’s an example:
A few days ago, I wrote this in my journal: I can’t be fired.
I never thought about that before. I thrive in my own businesses, where I make all the decisions and succeed (or fail) based solely on my merit.
I didn’t realize how important it was to eliminate the possibility that I could be fired for good reason, no reason or events over which I had no control.
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What’s really happening
No one ever suggests you keep a negativity journal. That happens naturally, and can easily overwhelm you with terrible physical and emotional consequences.
When you keep a gratitude journal, you’re re-programming your brain to search for positive things in your life, much the same way it’s naturally inclined to find negatives. Practicing gratitude levels the playing field.
If your Thanksgiving is fraught with negativity, try a new holiday tradition where positivity is the focus. Spend the day in an environment that makes you feel good about yourself. Avoid situations that increase stress and anxiety.
Make “giving thanks” a daily routine.
It will improve your level of happiness and quality of life.
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