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One of the most common complaints I hear from financial advisors involves COI reciprocity. I’ve heard my clients say things like, “My COIs never refer to me,” or, “I refer so much more to my COIs and I get nothing back in return,” or, “I can’t count on my COIs for any referrals.”
The frustration is real.
Advisors simply give up on the relationship and move on to the next one hoping something will be different. However, the advisor treats the new person the same as the old person and the cycle continues.
Doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results is a recipe for insanity.
Ready to break the cycle? Let’s look at four reasons why COIs don’t refer you and what you can do differently to influence better results.
1. You’ve never established expectations to support the relationship
In many situations, the COI and the advisor are on two different sheets of music from two different songs. It doesn’t take a musician to know that won’t make good harmony. I recommend that my clients create a list of what they expect from their COIs and what they are willing to give to the relationship as well. (Hint … the lists should be very similar.) As a way of evaluating your relationship, share this information, beginning with what you’re willing to do on behalf of your COI. That way, it’s more comfortable when you’re asking for something similar in return. This open dialog is probably one of the first times you’ve discussed how you want the relationship to perform. This is the beginning of how you can get on the same page.
2. You’re not staying top of mind
Staying top of mind is critical to getting referrals. You can’t expect to be referred if people don’t think of you in the moment as a possible solution. Fortunately, the methods of communicating and staying in touch with people have expanded greatly. If your COI were to hear from you in some way at least three times a month, if would be hard for them to forget about you. Pick up the phone and call them to touch base, schedule lunch or see if they need your help in any way. Send them your latest podcast, blog or newsletter. Stop by their office or home when you strategically happen to be in the neighborhood. Of course, you need to have a great relationship with your COI to drop in. If your relationship is not yet to that level, perhaps that’s another reason why referrals are slim. My client, Dan, would stop by his COI’s office once a month for a quick visit. Nearly every time he did, he walked away with a referral. In fact, that relationship got to be so tight that his COI asked him to be the executor of his will. Never be too busy for your COIs.
3. Someone else is their #1 and you don’t know about it
This happened to a client of mine. Mary became increasingly frustrated because a COI never had any referrals for her. After we spent time discussing how to have this difficult conversation, she approached her COI to find out that she was not their #1 referral source. At that point, Mary had a decision to make. She could accept the relationship as it was and continue referring her clients since this COI took good care of her clients. She could work to become their #1 referral source. She could also let go of the relationship and find a new one and establish better expectations from the start. In this case, Mary decided to stay put but look for another COI.
Knowing where you stand in the relationship will keep you based in reality and will reduce your frustration. This conversation is best at the beginning of the relationship, when you’re establishing how you want things to work and what you need from each other to remain content.
4. You’re not being proactive enough with your COIs
Waiting for something to happen will leave you frustrated and questioning your relationship. It’s a reactive way of managing your relationships. As a coach, I encourage my clients to be proactive with their relationships, in fact, leading your relationships is a common theme within our coaching experience.
You can influence referrals by being proactive. Dan discovered this when he would visit his COI. Imagine if you took the lead in your relationship and established a routine for how often you and a COI got together to discuss opportunities for each other. Imagine if you led by example and established a referral goal each year for your COIs and influenced them to do the same on your behalf. Being proactive puts you in the driver seat of your relationships. You no longer need to wait for things to happen because you can make them happen. This form of leadership directly influences your reciprocity and ultimately your referral results.
Take a step back and evaluate your COI relationships. Once you consider these four reasons why COIs don’t refer you, decide which apply to your relationships and get to work. If you’re happy with the results you’re getting from your COIs, it’s all because of what you’re doing. If you’re not happy with the results you’re getting (or not getting) from your COIs, it’s because of what you’re doing (or not doing). Your leadership will make a huge impact. Are you willing to accept that leadership and be proactive to get the results you want?
Michelle R. Donovan owns Productivity Uncorked LLC where they help financial advisors to be more productive and be more profitable. Their new online course The Profitable Productivity Plan for Female Financial Advisors is now available. Michelle’s books have become Wall Street Journal best-sellers, Amazon best-sellers and are published in seven languages. Email Michelle at [email protected] or connect with her on LinkedIn.
Read more articles by Michelle R. Donovan
Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
