Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here.
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Dear Bev,
We are a rapidly growing firm. We have an employee engagement role held by a 32-year-old, experienced professional in HR. We have about 80 people with about 80% of us under the age of 45 and 40% of that number age 30 or under. It’s a high-energy and fast-moving environment and we work hard to make the culture supportive and inclusive.
Recently one of our best advisors gave his notice. He is going to a much smaller RIA where most of the advisors are more than twice his age. His reason? He said we don’t “value youth” here. Admittedly, he was a top performer and wanted us to implement a more aggressive sales plan so he could get paid for new business along with client retention. He brought it up several times, but that isn’t our model. We don’t believe we are here to sell our clients – we pay well on AUM and on retention, but we don’t add a kicker for new opportunities.
How do we address this with the rest of the team? I am concerned about his contention that we “don’t value” something when that isn’t true. We had a disagreement with this advisor, which was more philosophical and cultural; we are very saddened to see him go. He was otherwise a top performer and a great team player. He always operated with a great attitude and worked well with everyone. We shared this with him when he told of his upcoming departure. But he kept saying he wanted to go somewhere that he could be more valued, which we interpret as a firm that is paying more aggressively for new business.
We are concerned about the impression other young team members have if they heard him say negative things about our culture on the way out.
Do we address this with the team, or do we hope others can see this was one person’s opinion? If we do address it, how do we message this appropriately without making the advisor who is leaving look bad, but without having his impression of how we have treated him poison the rest of the group? Do we even address it?
C.S.
Dear C.S.,
I often talk about how each of us have filters on the world. We have our own viewpoints, experiences, backgrounds, values, beliefs and so on and they color how we view what happens to us. It is the reason why two people could go to the same movie and one walks away loving it and saying the cinematography and story line were excellent, while the other hated it and says the acting and the scene sets were poorly done. Which one is right? They are both right – it is all about the filters and how we view things.
In the case of your advisor, it doesn’t sound as if your firm has a bias against youth. But I don’t know enough about this individual’s situation and whether he was in a position whereby he could have contributed more. But someone believed he had to pay his dues, or he wasn’t seasoned enough. It would be unfair of me to assume what he is saying is entirely wrong, but it could also be that he had to justify his departure, and this was as good of a reason as any.
In terms of addressing it with your team, there are a few factors to consider:
- Is this advisor someone who people look up to and listen to? Is he someone who is considered a go-to person within the firm? You have mentioned he was a top performer and sounds like an all-around decent person, but is he someone who draws people to him, and to whom people look up and follow? If so, then you absolutely need to address his statement proactively. If not, solicit feedback from one or two people to ask what the advisor who is leaving is telling people about the reason for his departure.
- Have there been other rumblings like this from any other team members? It sounds as if this advisor brought up his concerns about reverse ageism a few times, but he didn’t experience satisfaction in the results. If others have done the same, it would be very important to talk with them and understand their viewpoints. If he was alone in his beliefs, it might be best not to give his view more credence than it deserves because, again, back to my point that his filters might be germane to him and not shared by others.
- Does the firm have open communication when people depart, new people join, or things change? If your cultural style is to talk about things that are happening, then you need to have messaging for this. I would not necessarily say he felt discriminated against or overlooked due to his age. But you could say he was looking for something else and believes he found it at another firm. Be positive and wish him well publicly, but also let others know if they want to talk with you at all, they are more than welcome to have open dialogue with you.
When there is conflict or crises within an organization, more communication is better than less. But I am concerned here that you will come across as defensive or blaming this advisor who is leaving. Rather than say you should absolutely address it, please consider my questions to determine if it makes sense in your firm to do anything or just to wish this person well and get back to business.
Dear Bev,
We are a small firm – just six of us in total. Our newest advisor is the first woman to join our firm. She is mid-40s and very experienced. We all liked her immediately and felt she would be a great asset to our team.
Since she joined – in October of 2021 – she has consistently made reference to the fact we are anti-female in our approach. She never says specifically what we are doing wrong; it is often delivered in jest in internal meetings or when we are preparing for a client consult. She might say, “Well you are going to likely have a different approach because I know you are all against the feminine way of doing things,” or, “The client won’t want my input right, because I am the only woman in the group.” If we ask her to expand, she laughs it off and says we are too sensitive and we just need to recognize how hard it is to be a woman in this business.
I know we’re not perfect, but I have enough self-awareness to know neither of my partners nor I are sexist in any way. We see her for the professional she is, we welcome her ideas and direction, and we include her in most all conversations.
Is this showing how uncomfortable she is being the only female? Should we be considering hiring a female coach to help her navigate relationships with us? I hesitate to push back for obvious reasons (i.e. HR-related), but I also worry when these comments arise there is some truth and even if she is setting us up for a lawsuit or something saying we are not treating her the same.
K.M.
Dear K.M.,
How seriously have you pushed back and asked her for her underlying meaning when you have addressed this? I note you say you have asked, and she laughed it off, but maybe you can’t let her get off the hook so easily. Take this seriously, and show her you care about her opinion and her comments. Ask her for some specifics: In what situations did she experience you taking her less seriously, or counting out her view because she is a woman?
You sound self-reflective, but consider whether you have some unconscious bias that might emerge in your conversations. There are many times in my experience and in those of many, many professional women I know, where male colleagues inadvertently cut a woman off, don’t acknowledge her view, hear what she says and then present the idea as their own, diminish a comment if it is delivered with emotional attachment, or play a fatherly sort of role in giving feedback or responding to ideas. Men are not even aware they are doing this. But a woman feels it and notices it quite strongly. Without seeing the dynamic and knowing more about what she is reacting to, I have no idea if this is happening. But it is common even with the most open-minded of professionals! That’s why we call it an “unconscious bias.”
If she is continuing to suggest she is being considered differently, I just don’t see how you ignore it and don’t have a sit down and ask her very directly to give you examples. Don’t do this in a combative or threatening way. Tell her how much you take her concerns seriously and how much you want her to be comfortable and open in the firm. You value her contributions, and you would never want her to be in a position where she can’t be honest.
That said, confirm that you won’t always take her recommendation or advice, just as I’m going to guess you don’t do so with your other partners. Suggestions are surfaced, but in most firms, no one can have every idea put into practice. Assuming it is true, let her know you want an open and honest culture amongst the six individuals, and you want her to have just as much of a voice as everyone else.
She may be someone who avoids conflict, and she may think she is being put on the spot and may hesitate to tell her truthful beliefs. But if you are sincere in your approach and show her you care about her feelings and think that she belongs as equally as anyone else, you will get some more concrete information from her. That will allow you and your partners to self-reflect and determine if her views are accurate. This could be her filter on the world, as I mentioned above to the first question in the article today, or it could be you need to examine how you deliver comments and feedback and find new ways to collaborate and embrace new ideas.
Beverly Flaxington co-founded The Collaborative, a consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry, in 1995. The firm also founded and manages the Advisors Sales Academy. She is currently an adjunct professor at Suffolk University teaching undergraduate and graduate students Entrepreneurship and Leading Teams. Beverly is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).
She has spent over 25 years in the investment industry and has been featured in Selling Power Magazine and quoted in hundreds of media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, MSNBC.com, Investment News and Solutions Magazine for the FPA. She speaks frequently at investment industry conferences and is a speaker for the CFA Institute.
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Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here. 
