The New Year’s Resolution That Will Change Your Life
Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
It’s common to make resolutions at this time of the year. While well-intentioned, they are challenging to achieve.
Here’s a worthy goal to contemplate for 2023: Reduce stress and anxiety in your life, especially from family. The benefits of achieving this goal are significant.
Impact on your health
High levels of anxiety caused by stress are extremely detrimental to your overall health.
They can lead to panic attacks, impact your memory and learning ability or impair your ability to process information rationally.
They make you less able to interpret real-life danger.
According to the Mayo Clinic, the list of the pernicious effects of stress on your behavior include eating disorders, uncontrolled anger, drug and alcohol abuse and depression.
It’s difficult to imagine someone with this combination of symptoms enjoying healthy relationships with family and friends.
How could they be effective investment advisors and financial planners and a source of sound guidance for their clients?
Especially around the holidays, we are inundated with images of happy families getting together and enjoying each other’s company.
The reality is often quite different.
One study found that 88% of Americans feel stressed when celebrating the holidays. The stressors include buying gifts, overspending and preparing for company.
Almost half of those polled experienced feelings of “dread” when thinking about how much they will spend over the holidays.
Another study found negative emotions during the holiday that included fatigue, stress, irritability, bloating, sadness, anger and loneliness.
An unexpected source of stress
While there are many happy families, that’s not always the case.
Family relationships can be toxic, which occurs when “[T]he negative significantly outweighs the positive in your interactions,” according to Valentina Stoycheva, PhD, a clinical psychologist.
Toxic behaviors include false accusations, making you feel inadequate, manipulative behavior, humiliating conduct, bullying and harassing, and acting in a mean, nasty or contemptuous manner.
The impact of dealing with toxic relationships may include loss of self-esteem, inability to make decisions, anxiety, grief and sadness.
A radical coping mechanism
More AUM. Better Relationships.
My micro-learning course will increase your AUM and deepen your relationships.
If not, I’ll give you a 100% refund of the $29.95 cost.
Volume discounts are available.
You may be shocked to learn that 27% of Americans age 18 and older reported cutting off all contact with a toxic family member. That’s 67 million Americans.
Those reporting no contact include parents and children, siblings and extended family members (cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, nieces and nephews).
While eliminating all interaction with toxic family members is a radical step, it may be necessary when the relationship is especially hurtful or the estrangement may “be necessary for the well-being of your family” or yourself.
A less dramatic step is to restructure the relationship by setting boundaries, limiting the time spent with these relatives or changing the circumstances under which you have contact with them.
Confronting the issue of how to deal with a toxic relative is daunting. We’re conditioned to believe family is a “sacred institution” and a “safe haven, a place of love and support...”
If your reality is different and a member of your family is causing you stress and anxiety, it may be time to leave.
Dan trains executives and employees in the lessons based on the research in his latest book, Ask: How to Relate to Anyone. His online course, Ask: Increase Your Sales. Deepen Your Relationships, is currently available.