Do Clients Suffer from “Faux” Financial Intimacy?

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Are your clients and their spouses truly aligned when it comes to finances? Do they rarely experience conflicts about money? If so, they might have financial intimacy in their relationship. This goes beyond merely sharing financial information. It involves both partners feeling safe enough to be vulnerable and honest discussing their feelings, beliefs, needs, and behaviors around money.

Some couples may have what can be termed "faux" financial intimacy, where there is no tension or conflict because they avoid talking about money. This lack of openness may stem from one partner’s past experiences of having their opinions disregarded, minimized, or invalidated.

Financial intimacy is an essential aspect of a healthy romantic relationship, though it is routinely overlooked by therapists in comparison to other forms of intimacy like emotional, spiritual, or physical intimacy. lists 12 types of coupleship intimacies; none are financial.

Financial therapist Ed Coambs, author of The Healthy Love & Money Way, says, “Financial intimacy begins with basic level honesty,” like sharing financial information with one another. “However, financial intimacy goes a lot deeper than that. It also includes feelings, beliefs, and behaviors around money. When a couple is financially intimate, they feel safe and comfortable talking to their partner about any topic about money.”