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Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here.
Dear Readers,
I had the distinct pleasure of working with Mark Singer, CFP® of Safe Harbor Retirement Planning (Lynn Mass) for many, many years. Mark launched the Financial Literacy Toolbox, along with a number of videos and articles, and he published three books during our time together. He was one of the most passionate, high-energy advisors I have ever known.
I won’t tell Mark’s story myself. Instead, I’ll let him tell it here in my column this week. But I will say, as you work hard on behalf of your clients and focus your time and energy on your profession, remember that your personal life also matters. As Mark would always say to himself and to his clients, “Enjoy the journey!” I hope his experience is inspiring to readers:
Slowing Down to See Life With Open Eyes: Lessons From My Stroke Recovery
Life has a way of teaching us lessons when we least expect them. For me, the most profound lesson came from an experience I never saw coming – suffering a stroke. Before that fateful day, I was living life at full speed, running three businesses, playing golf three times a week, staying committed to the gym, traveling, boating in the summer, and cherishing time as a grandparent. My mantra was always "Enjoy the journey."
But on October 21, 2022, life forced me to slow down. That day, during a routine round of golf, my playing partners called my name, signaling my turn. I stood frozen. They called again, but something was wrong – I was having a stroke.
I was rushed to Beverly Hospital, where doctors administered stroke clot medication, which unfortunately failed. I was then transferred to Lahey Burlington for a procedure to physically remove the clot, but once again, the attempts were unsuccessful. For a brief time, brain surgery seemed like the next step. Thankfully, it wasn’t necessary, but by then, the stroke had already taken its toll. I lost my ability to speak, swallow, eat, and even perform the most basic functions, requiring a feeding tube for months. My journey to recovery had begun – a journey that would test my patience, resilience, and outlook on life.
Learning to appreciate the small victories
My recovery started at Lahey and continued at Spaulding Rehab before I was transferred to the Brudnick Center, where I have spent the last two years rebuilding my life. I had to start from scratch. At first, I could only take three assisted steps at a time. Now, with the support of two physical therapists, I can take 33 steps. Each step represents a triumph over adversity, a testament to perseverance and hope.
To move forward, I had to redefine my approach to life. Instead of merely "enjoying the journey," I learned to "slow down and enjoy life with my eyes wide open." Life’s challenges often force us to become more present, to experience each moment fully. In doing so, I discovered the importance of celebrating small victories – not just the major milestones, but the everyday wins that mark progress.
Lessons I’ve learned
The importance of mindfulness
Mindfulness is more than a practice – it’s a way of life. Before my stroke, I was constantly moving, thinking about the next task, the next goal. But true mindfulness means being present, not dwelling on the past or fearing the future. It’s about appreciating what is happening right now.
Strength comes in many forms
Strength isn’t just physical; it’s also mental and emotional. Throughout my recovery, I learned that resilience comes from within. Strength is choosing to keep going, even when progress seems slow. It’s about pushing forward, one step at a time.
Patience is key
Recovery is not linear. There were times when I felt stuck, as if I weren’t making any progress at all. But I’ve learned to trust the process. Every effort, no matter how small, contributes to the bigger picture. Learning patience has been a crucial part of my journey.
The power of positivity
It would have been easy to focus on what I had lost – the independence, the ease of movement, the ability to do things effortlessly. But I made a conscious decision to focus on what is, rather than what if. Studies show that maintaining a positive outlook is one of the greatest predictors of success, and I have found this to be true in my own experience.
Every day, I look for at least one thing to be grateful for. Some days, it’s the ability to move a little more freely. Other days, it’s the encouragement of my family, friends, and healthcare professionals. Gratitude is a practice, and like anything else, it requires effort. But it is worth it.
Finding inspiration in unexpected places
Inspiration comes in many forms. Sometimes, it’s a simple message in a fortune cookie. Other times, it’s a compelling pitch on Shark Tank, a healing prayer, or the lyrics of a song like "Don’t Stop Believin’." These moments of inspiration have kept me motivated.
I have also drawn strength from the stories of others who have overcome adversity. Reading about people who defied the odds has reminded me that I am not alone in my journey. Support groups, motivational books, and online communities have all been invaluable sources of encouragement.
My transformation
The progress I’ve made is undeniable. In the beginning, I could only be moved out of bed with a Hoyer lift. Sitting in a chair for more than fifteen minutes caused painful spasms. Today, I no longer need a Hoyer lift; I can transfer using a slide board. I can spend hours in my wheelchair, take myself outside to the courtyard, and even use the elevator independently. Each movement forward represents perseverance, hope, and the power of positivity.
Most importantly, I have regained the ability to experience life again, with a renewed sense of purpose and appreciation. By slowing down, I have learned to embrace life in a whole new way.
Thank you to Mark Singer for sharing his wisdom in this week’s column! We’re including a picture of Mark in rehab.
Beverly Flaxington co-founded The Collaborative, a consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry, in 1995. The firm also founded and manages the Advisors Sales Academy. The firm has won the Wealthbriefing WealthTech award for Best Training Solution for 2022, 2023, 2024 and 2025. Beverly is currently an adjunct professor at Suffolk University teaching undergraduate and graduate students Entrepreneurship and Leading Teams. She is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).
She has spent over 25 years in the investment industry and has been featured in Selling Power Magazine and quoted in hundreds of media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, MSNBC.com, Investment News and Solutions Magazine for the FPA. She speaks frequently at investment industry conferences and is a speaker for the CFA Institute.
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