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Selecting a healthcare proxy — someone to make medical decisions when you can't — is one of the most vital parts of your estate plan. Here are four expert-backed tips to help you choose someone who will truly carry out your wishes.
“We often explain to clients that healthcare directives can feel like a heavy burden for someone else to carry, especially during a time when emotions are high, and your loved ones may be sad, stressed, or overwhelmed,” explained Tim Woodward, CFP, managing partner at Blend Wealth. “Making critical medical decisions without clear guidance can add significant emotional weight.”
When it comes to selecting a person to be a healthcare proxy, here are a few characteristics that advisors can encourage their clients to consider.
1. Choose Someone Who Will Follow Your Wishes — Not Their Own
Avoid naming someone who might struggle emotionally or disagree with your end-of-life preferences. You want someone who will respect your voice, even in hard moments.
Al Faber, CFP with Woodson Wealth Management, advised that people should select as a healthcare proxy the person who “loves you enough to do what you want to do and not what they want to do.”
After all, in some cases a healthcare proxy is making determinations about a person’s end of life care.
2. Make Sure They Can Handle the Emotional Weight
“You have to make sure you pick somebody who can emotionally handle the tough decision,” explained Domenick D’Andrea, co-founder of DanDarah Wealth Management, who has learned this from personal experience. “Make sure you pick a person that not only is somebody you care about but they understand that yes, it’s hard to say goodbye… nobody wants to say goodbye to a loved one. But it’s your wishes; we need to abide by your wishes.”
D’Andrea’s mother pre-deceased her parents and grandparents at 55 via an aneurysm, so she didn’t have a healthcare proxy selected. He experienced firsthand what happens when a person hasn’t been designated to hold this vital role.
3. Ensure They’re Willing & Able
Your proxy should be:
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Willing to take on the responsibility;
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Able, both mentally and physically;
- Preferably younger than you, or someone who will likely outlive you; and
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Located nearby, if possible.
In some cases, people are selecting healthcare proxies that are older than they are, notes Matthew Ricks, CFP, founder of Haystack Financial Planning. He has experienced clients who then have their healthcare proxy pass away before they do and forget to update their healthcare proxy.
Another factor to consider is where the potential proxy is located in relation to you.
“I’ve seen too many people pick someone that’s not even physically close to where they are, which creates issues,” Faber said.
Don’t forget to update your proxy if circumstances change.
4. Avoid Assigning Multiple People
It can also become problematic to have more than one person as a healthcare proxy.
“That always gets confusing and more problems evolve from having multiple people with that ultimate decision power,” Ricks said.
While making the decision about the most suitable healthcare proxy candidate, people should keep in mind that their healthcare proxy doesn’t need to be the same person as their power of attorney, who handles financial matters, notes D’Andrea.
Choose one clear decision-maker. It prevents delays and confusion during emergencies.
Diana Cabrices is chief evangelist at Trust & Will.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
